My dearest Moni!
Today marks 3 years since that 23rd of August, and I'm writing to you because, among other things, I'd like to tell you that ever since that day, thinking of you helps me put problems into perspective, enjoy life more, and be braver. From your photo on my phone's screensaver you remind me of what I learned when you left: a new reality opened up before me. I'd love to be able to tell you that this year I finally found the courage to fulfil one of my life's dreams, my great unfinished task. That thing I've said since I was little that I wanted to do, but never did, for whatever reason.
Your passing opened my eyes, it made me understand that today could be my last day here, and one thing I'm very clear about is that when my moment comes I don't want to think that I left anything undone, I want to live all the experiences I feel I have to live, I want to enjoy life to the fullest so I can go in peace when my hour comes. No more living a life in which I don't feel fulfilled, I want to feel that my life is thrilling (at least to me). I want to live without fear, be true to myself, I want to be the one who defines the limits of how far I want to / can go. I don't want to think that there are impossibles or that it's too late to do something. I think this year is only the beginning of a great change, thousands more dreams are running through my head. I hope I make them happen too and can write to you about it.
A few years ago I set out on a path towards authenticity, I stopped living what others expected of me and decided to take the reins of my own life. There are days when I feel lost, it's easier when someone tells you what you have to do, when you do what's expected of you or when you have a model to copy, in short, when you don't have to make big decisions, but now, I'm much happier than before and I wouldn't change that for anything. It's been a long time since I've had the feeling that I'm letting my life pass me by. I feel free to open up new paths, to explore new horizons and that fulfils me, even if there are times when, as I say, I feel disoriented. That's what comes with constantly stepping out of your comfort zone.
For opening my eyes, for all the love you gave me and for everything we lived together, a thousand thanks! I hope you read me wherever you are and I hope one day you give me the sign I'm waiting for. I send you an enormous hug. I'll never forget you, little sister!